SPF 7-28-06

mean looking
Originally uploaded by cameradawktor.

Here's my lineup for SPF @ www.randomandodd.com over @ Kristine's website.

Mean Looking: my doggie looks weally weally mean in this photo. actually, we think she got stung by a bee....she like to eat them, yikes!

My weapon: I have two weapons, courage and bravery. my grandfather was a hard man to deal with. i loved him and he loved me, but he alienated a LOT of people in his life. very few of his grandkids came around to see him. we had a specialness to our relationship and i was one of the few who stuck around. don't get me wrong, he wasn't all bad......

he would say off the wall bizarre things about people. mean things, that weren't true. it was scarey to call him on it because he had the habit of telling people to get out of his house and not speaking to them for a year or more. he did it when my dad turned 18, and then he did it again to my dad when i was 5. there were times though, when i'd get a lot of courage, be really brave, and tell him what he said was not true.

this took guts, because i loved my grandpa and i didn't want him to tell me off, to tell me to get out of his house, and there was always the fear that he would. so it wasn't taken lightly to correct him. in fact, i don't think i ever saw anyone do it, i could have been one of the very few.

so those are my weapons, the weapons that help me survive in life's battles, and God only knows i've had a few. it doesn't mean i'm weak, its just that we all have to call upon courage and bravery sometimes, and with my grandfather is one of the places i learned it.


my hiding place: well, i've never been much of a hider, it's not my in my nature to hide, but i've sure done a lot of it in the last year. hiding isn't a good way to make friends, it's not a good way to keep friends either.

and, maybe i wouldn't call it hiding...perhaps its surviving. i don't know, all i know is that i spend way too much time here. it's much safer to not plan anything, have anybody over, schedule things to take the kids to....than to do all these things and then have to cancel because i am not feeling good.

i need to stop hiding, stop sitting around because i am afraid of disappointing others, but mostly MYSELF!!

so here's where i hide:

DID YOU PLAY?????