3.22.2007

the not so beautiful before


the not so beautiful before
Originally uploaded by cameradawktor.
o.k., if you read a few posts ago you will know that i was realling fighting depression. not so much with my thoughts, but with my body. i was soo sooo tired, like a 1,000 lb. elephant was sitting on me. sometimes it was like i couldn't even move.

i had no energy to take my kids anywhere, let alone even tie my shoes. i was able to stay out of bed but the chair and the couch in front of the t.v. really got to know my butt, if you know what i mean.

i decided not to see how long before it would pass and made a doctor appt. for the 26th. but, in the meantime, i decided to stop taking a vitamin i had been taking for the last 6 weeks. my neurologist thought i might want to try co q 10 to see if it would help get my migraine frequency down. at first i stopped taking pictures, which at the time, i thought i was just giving myself a break.

then after a month, and switching to a different brand, i started to get tired. tasks became much more difficult but i was forcing myself to get through them. i started thinking about how nice it would be to lie in my bed but during the middle of the day. during this, however, i was able to fight through it.

then, during my "womanly time" ( :) ) i had absolutely no energy. i couldn't get anything done and my emotions were just so flat, devoid of feelings. i thought i was just having an extra difficult week and would feel better when the "time" had passed.

nope

i knew i needed to go for a walk and get fresh air and i couldn't even imagine walking across the room to put my shoes on.

that's when i knew that i was definitely having a low cycle (depressive episode).

but, because my thinking wasn't dangerous or distorted i thought i could wait it out.

realizing though that i had started a new batch of vitamins before the bottom fell out i decided to stop taking them. that was sunday. the very next day i felt so much better and by tuesday i was back to my great old self.

today is thursday and despite feeling pretty tired every once in a while, the 1,000 lb. elephant is gone.

i will still go to my doctor's appt though as i am trying to break the bad habit of doctoring myself, which has never gotten me anywhere and most of the time made me worse off.

i am so greatful that i am feeling better and am having lots of fun taking pictures again. my husband bought me a new mobile phone that has a 2mg. camera. it also has an mp3 player which i have never had before. so i have been having a good time trying to figure out how to download songs onto it.

to sum it all up, i will leave you with this stylish picture of my new haircut! haha.... the after (after depression lifts) is always so much sweeter than the not so beautiful before.... (THIS IS MY WORD FOR THE DAY!)

btw: if you don't get anything that i have talked about that 's good. it means you've never experienced it so consider yourself lucky!!!

the much more lovely after

3 comments:

Jana said...

Glad you figured out the vitamins were affecting you.

MP3 players are fun, aren't they? I just got one for Christmas and have only just finished filling it up!

CameraDawktor said...

yes, i am so glad i figured it out too.

i think it's so amazing that i could be so sensitive to VITAMINS!!!

High Heels said...

It's a horrible feeling. And your hair is lovely! :)